psyche-thumbLast week, we talked about problems and how to approach them. Today, we will look into winning and how responsibility comes into the equation.

I love listening to interviews of professional athletes. I yet have to hear one who is not absolute about winning or becoming the best in his field. It is obvious that even before they get into the ring or the court, they make sure that they have already won the battle in their minds.

Winning in any area of our lives necessitates overcoming, first and foremost, the demons that lurk inside our very selves. May it be in sports, in relationships, in our careers, or in business, we need to understand that unless we become the masters of our very own minds, we cannot succeed.


The problems we see outside of us are just a reflection of what is going on inside of us. But many people continue to attribute the cause to circumstances that surround them and no wonder the problem persists and escalates.

Many who come to me for counselling and therapy are people who are troubled inside. And I see that what exacerbates their problem is their misplaced focus. Rather than exploring the trouble inside them first, they hastily work out solving and changing that what surrounds them. And so, I help them refocus and take responsibility.

And that is the first ingredient to winning, taking Responsibility. Ask yourself, how is my response-ability? Are my responses based on impulse and programming from the past? Or is it a result of consistent reflection and evaluation of my thinking and actions?

Responsible people understand that what happens to them is not some kind of a miracle (although they believe in one) but mostly the consequence of their informed choices and decisions. They are not bugged down by responsibilities (although they get tired) because they know from the very start that they can handle them dependably. But if not, they are not afraid to ask for help either.

Someone who is responsible practices deep reflection and discernment. When one constantly examines the recesses of his thoughts, he will gain power and control over his thinking and through this he will make choices that will all the more empower him.

Simple choices like refusing to engage in gossips, or listening to inspiring talks rather than reading bad news, or holding quality dates with wife and children rather than spending time with barkadas, will create a pattern of thinking and behaving that is geared towards winning.

The best hallmark of responsibility is the ability to accept and embrace the outcome of one’s decisions and actions. Whether the outcome is favorable or not, he continues to be active and involved until such time that the desired goal is materialized.

To win is to take responsibility. To be responsible is to take charge of the battle that is raging inside one’s mind and making sure that it is filled only with what is desirable. And to be responsible is continuing to act towards the best interest of those that surround him.

P.S. For consultation, you can contact me at 09122506898 or email

By Kit Nemenzo Balane

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