I came across an infographic in the internet which reveals what research has found out about people in happy relationships. With the increasing trend of couples seeking for annulment, I wish to share this to every couple out there who desire to not only keep their relationships but make them grow as well.
These are not esoteric knowledge. We even take for granted some of them because they appear so mundane and simple. But, let us resolve to value what is simple and available, and get back to the basics. Let us learn about what science can tell us. Here they are.
CULTIVATE POSITIVE INTERACTIONS – According to science, happy couples have 5 positive interactions for every negative one. Those who eventually separate have just 0.8 happy encounters for every one negative interaction.
BE BEST FRIENDS – Are you the best of friends? The most determining factor (70%) on whether couples feel satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is the quality of their friendship with each other.
TALK MORE – People in the most successful marriages spend 5 more hours a week being together and talking. Minimize the texting now, or the internet, or watching t.v. and talk more, and do it regularly.
BE POSITIVE – Give a compliment, show appreciation for something big or small, relive a fun memory, do something nice for your spouse. Instead of sulking at things that can be ignored, do something that is positive and relationship enhancing.
HAVE SEX…AND MAKE IT OFTEN – The happiest couples have 2 to 3 times of sex every week. And according to research, people are 55% more likely to report higher levels of happiness when they have sex every few days. But what if you only have sex once a week? Take heart. Having sex once a week still makes people 44% more likely to have positive feelings.
SHARE IN THE VICTORIES OF YOUR PARTNER – How do you respond to triumphs? When it comes to strengthening the relationship, studies show that the most crucial factor is how you celebrate your partner’s good news. Good partners show enthusiasm, they ask questions, they congratulate their partner, they relive their experience with their partner. In one study, people who did this 3x a day for 1 week increased their happiness and felt less depressed afterwards.
SEEK NEW EXPERIENCES TOGETHER – Couples who have new experiences together report feeling more loving and supportive towards one another, and more satisfied with their marriages. It can be an evening walk, cooking together, or going to a concert, etc.
BRING OUT THE BEST IN EACH OTHER – Happy couples help each other get closer to becoming their “ideal” selves. They are each other’s greatest fan.
RECALL ESPECIALLY THE FUNNY TIMES – Happy couples recall their shared laughter not just the happy moments. A study indicated that those who do are more satisfied with their relationships.
FIGHT LOVINGLY – What is your fighting style? Happy couples tend to defuse the tension by showing humor, expressing affection and conceding on certain points that the partner makes. Unhappy couples tend to criticize, show contempt, roll their eyes, act defensively, tune out, and resort to name calling.
There is one indicator in the happiness index of couples that seem to be controversial, that whichpertains to having children. But I will talk about this in the next issue. I believe these 10 indicators are already a handful. If we look closely into what science tells us and work it out, we’ll have more happy couples, happy children, happy family, and a happy society.
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